Important Things

Surprisingly, Sugar Daddy has a perfect driving record. This seems so funny to me, even as his wife, because he has tendencies toward road rage (minor) and speeding (medium), and even erratic driving (major). He tries to talk on his phone, shift, and steer, all at the same time. It's tricky, trust me, I've tried it. I'm not great at it. He can do it with no problems, sometimes even balancing a refreshing beverage in his hand. It's a gift, really.

But his perfect record has nearly been marred a couple of times. Once, 11 years ago, on a lonely road North of Kemmerer, Wyoming, as we headed hurriedly up to Jackson Hole for our honeymoon, a bored Highway Patrol officer pulled us over for speeding. After seeing us in our newly wedded bliss, and I'd like to think a strong stirring from the Spirit, he let us go with just a warning. Whew.

Last weekend again, we were hurrying home from Utah, only this time instead of newly wedded bliss, we had 3 kids sleeping and a truck bed packed to the hilt with Christmas loot. A Lincoln, Nebraska construction zone can be a lonely place at 2 AM, so when those red and blues turned on, it nearly caused an anal hygiene problem for me, if you know what I mean. I instinctively opened up the glove box to get out the registration and proof of insurance, ( you see, I'm really no stranger to the routine) as the friendly police officer approached my side of the truck.

It is at this point 3 things happen simultaneously. First, I realize we have no current proof of insurance. They are all expired, some just barely (August), and some for quite a while ( January of 07). Second, I see our registration is a little iffy, at best. Sure, it has the county in which we live, but no home address, no name to which the vehicle is registered, and no make or model of the vehicle. Hmmm, weird. And third, I get a gut instinct that this officer is only looking for drunk drivers on this the first night of the year. I know that none of our misdeeds is enough for him to care about.

Sure enough, he takes Sugar Daddy back to his vehicle, makes small talk with him while he runs our plates, and proceeds to tell him he and his wife are expecting their first child in June. I think once he saw the 3 kids, and heard we were from Utah, he figured there were probably a few extra wives and several dozen children awaiting our return. Which is fine, I think it's kind of a fun stereotype to let people believe. It makes me chuckle.

So despite our lacking proper papers, and the fact that we were doing 11 over in a construction zone, Officer Goodeed let us go with just a warning. Wow. Again, we made it by the skin of our teeth.

And Sugar Daddy continues his perfect driving record. Much to my chagrin, as I have had a couple of incidents with red lights, and garbage cans. No matter. It keeps our insurance down, and it makes him feel superior to all the other drivers on the road. And that's what is most important.

But stay tuned for tomorrow's installment of "why it's good to have a golf club shaped hitch plug when you live in an icy environment", or "thanks to Jill's fabulous gift, she has saved us thousands of dollars in deductibles". Trust me, you don't want to miss it.

Snow + Power = Hilarity

Cousin Chad is so sweet. He always has something fun up his sleeve, and is endlessly entertaining our kids. One day, he'll make a great dad, but for now, we'll take him as our surrogate. This particular day, a day or two before Christmas, we headed over to his parents house, and spent hours (okay, maybe an hour) pulling the kidlets around on sleds behind the 4 wheelers. It brought back many a fun childhood memory, as we spent most of our winters this way.

It was a cold day, so Chad built us a fire by which we could warm ourselves. As you can see, it didn't feel cold to me, since it was at least 30, and it hasn't gotten up to 30 in my hometown for months, now. It felt balmy to me.


Here I am, pulling Brent on the snowboard. He did better than I thought he would, and apparently, he was cracking me up. Yes, you see correctly, I have no coat on. Honestly, the only thing that got cold on me was my hands. I'm so tough.


Here's poor Livvy. She was the first casualty of the evening. Bloody nose, fat lip, and not a peep of discomfort from her. She was such a good sport. She was very brave, and wouldn't give up, even with blood streaming down her face and onto her coat.

Sugar Daddy and Emma driving around like they own the place. I think Duane was a little miffed when Sugar Daddy decided to take a spin through his garden, so I had to put a stop to that right off. Emma loved driving, though, and I think some 4 wheelers are in our near future.



Here's Kinney slamming righteously into Brent's car. You see, Sugar Daddy was a little slow on figuring out the whole "whip the sled around, but avoid obstacles at all costs" thing. Good thing Brent is leaving on his mission, here to Chicago!, in a couple of months. I doubt he'll even notice the dent her head left. Although she does tend to walk in circles, now.

I have some cute photos of Gabe and Eli, too, but blogger is being picky, and won't upload them. I don't know why. Maybe because they are 2 of the cutest boys Ev.Er. and blogger feels like keeping the fairest in the land hidden away.

I also have one of Maggie having what could be the best time of her life. If you can sense my sarcasm here, it's fully intended. That girl is afraid of everything. For her, wearing layers of clothes, gloves, boots and a hat, along with the loud sound of the 4 wheelers, was totally overwhelming. She hardly moved from my side, or from the fire pit, the entire time. Oh, except for when I literally shoved her into my lap on the sled so we could go for a ride together. Yeah, she screamed the whole time. I know, I know, slap the parent of the year award right here next to my many others, but my dad did that kind of stuff to me, so I figure it can't be all that harmful, right? I mean, I turned out perfectly.

Whew. Almost.

There is much more to this title than you will ever know. Surprisingly, I do keep a lot of my personal life to myself. But there are a few meanings that I can expound upon here.

1. We made it to Utah in just under 25 hours. That's driving time, people. We encountered 100 slide offs in Des Moines, and just after passing through the city, realized they had closed the highway behind us. Good times. But we made it. I have a picture of what Diesel fuel does when it gets too cold. You'll see it soon.

2. Christmas was good. The kids had a great time, got too many presents, and ate too much junk food. Just like Christmas should be. We were all dreading the holiday without mom around, and it turned out just fine. All the grandkids got teddy bears with outfits on that are made from Nunn's clothes. They are so adorable, and we all had a good cry. Then TroyBoy pulls out purple hand made bracelets for us girls, and they all have little sterling sliver ribbon charms on them. Another good cry ensued. You'll see pictures of those, too.

3. Yesterday, the 30th, Sugar Daddy and I celebrated 11 years of wedded. Bliss, okay, wedded bliss. And Meg also go married yesterday. Yes, she went through with it. Nevermind the shackles and gags that were involved to get her to say "Yes" at the appropriate time. Kidding people, kidding. Fear not, there will be oodles of picture of that day to follow.

4. We saw Body Worlds today. So cool. The science behind it is amazing, but to see how delicate life is reinforces to me that God is in everything. There is just no doubt after seeing that. Not that there ever was, but you know what I mean.

5. Tonight is New Year's Eve. We are spending the evening with Troyboy and Kelli making home made pizza with artichokes and olives. Mmm Mmm good. Do you think I could get sued for using that as my motto? Oh well.

6. Which means that this year is almost over. If someone had told me last year what 2008 would hold, I would have laughed. Now, I know there are no limits to what life can bring. So, in keeping with that frame of mind, my resolution for the year is to work on enhancing my food storage. Before you start sending me links to places to buy powdered water, and ways to preserve chicken hearts for 100 years, let me explain that I don't plan on doing that kind of food storage. I mean the kind that entails extra supplies of things I use deliberately, daily even. Not stuff I will shove in a corner of my basement and forget about until my 14th child needs a bedroom down there.


So, I hope you are fully prepared for the onslaught of pictures that are to follow. Life has been good to me for the last two weeks, and as much as I hate to leave my family, I'm ready to get back to reality.

Good Santa, Bad Santa

We had our annual Ward Christmas party on Saturday night, as did the rest of the Mormon world, I think. Being on the newly formed activities committee, we were in charge of various aspects of the party. Part of the food, including baking 5 bags of potatoes, the paper products, and finding a suitable (get it, suit?) Santa, were all left up to us. After volunteering said Santa, there were a few weeks where we weren't sure we would even have a Santa. Luckily, he came around, and decided it would be good for his soul, not to mention his sleeping habits, since if he had rejected the part, he would be sleeping on the couch. We procured a suitable suit from neighbor Kate, and Voila! Santa was born.


Santa with some neighborhood girls. Excellent babysitters, these girls. Look how excited they are!


Who knew Santa had such big beautiful blue eyes?


And here he is telling a sweet story of the symbolism of the candy cane. He did an excellent job. He knew most of the kids by name, which is always a plus when you're playing the part of Santa. The only "oopsie" moment, was when we realized he had on brown shoes, and not black. Eh, small details.


All in all, it was a great night. We had plenty of potatoes, ran out of side dishes, and had to make an emergency run to Jewel for more cookies for dessert. But everyone had a good time, and we fed and entertained about 165 people for 2 hours. Not bad. And our Bishop gave us a count, saying he thought we had at least 40 non-members or investigators present. Wow. That's unheard of in Utah. I don't even know 40 non-members in Utah! It's refreshing to see the community all come together to celebrate a common thread, regardless of religion.

That was our one big party, and now we're pretty much taking it easy until the Memorial Day picnic. I think we are planning a Spring service project, but we have to wait until the ice melts (around May) before we decide exactly what it will be. Now, it's all about getting us to Utah, through our first Christmas without Mom, and having the best wedding ever!

Sugar Daddy's Day

Happy Birthday to you, my dear Sugar Daddy. There are so many things I love about you, so here are just a few.

• You can fix anything.
  
• You watch "Ice Princess" just to see the ending.
  
• You have an immense love for jackets and coats of all styles.
• You snore like a fog horn.
  
• You are always thinking of the girls and I, and ways to make our lives easier.
  
• You take out the garbage cans every Thursday.
  
• You like your sleep time.
  
• You can make friends with just about anyone.
  
• You do all the ironing.
  
• You love me and the girls more than anything else.
  
• And we love you too!
  

Have a great day!

There's also a sweet blurb about Sean over at Terrill's blog, so you can check that out here.

Leave A Message At The Beep

Keli can't come to the blog right now. You see, she and her Sugar Daddy have gone to the city for a night on the town. Good food, good shopping and good... Well, use your imagination. Let's just say it's been a while since they have been away from the kids.


So, Hyatt Regency, here they come. Thanks to Hotwire.com for getting them a great deal, and thanks to Grandpa for watching the kids. Don't expect pictures, because it's not that kind of trip.

Later alligator.

This Is Life

I have a killer cold. If I was a man, it would be a "man cold". And if I was motivated at all, I would put a super duper link to the "Man Cold" on YouTube, but you can "Tube" it yourself, cause I'm lazy like that. I fell asleep at 8:00 last night. It rocked. But I still feel like total crap.
*Oh, alright, I linked it. Geez. Now I need a nap.

Gretta is repeatedly trying to wedge herself under my computer chair. With each and every attempt, she bonks her head, hard, on the frame. And yet she continues to try. Tenacious, yes. Mentally ill, possibly.

I have seen Sugar Daddy a total of 15 minutes this week. No, that's a bad thing. See, it's his busy season, getting everything sorted out to different retailers for their Christmas sales. Which means he works at 5AM and gets in just after 7PM. I know I shouldn't complain because it's much harder on him than it is on me, but it's my blog, so I can complain about whatever I want. And tonight he's partaking in the Cubs vs. Brewers game in Milwaukee, so that means he won't be home until after midnight. I don't feel bad for him, though.

Maggie had her first dance class yesterday. Yeah, I'm such a good mom, I forgot the camera.

Emma missed the bus yesterday. Again. So she was late.

Gretta has a fever, a rash, and a limp. This warranted a trip to the ER, but she checked out fine.

My slutty dog has decided it's much more fun to spend the days philandering around the neighborhood than being cooped up in the house with a sick bitchy mom. I rarely know if she's in or out. And to be honest, I don't care anymore.

Oh, and I've been wearing the same pair of denim capris all week. I change my shirt and bra, of course, and my undies, but the pants, they just keep calling my name. I need a new pair. Or pairs.

Feel free to slap the Mother of the Year award right here.

Possibly TMI

There are few things that can remain sacred after 11 years of marriage, and 3 children. You know what I mean. Of course the marriage itself is sacred, but there is a loss of privacy boundaries that just naturally occurs. It's a comfort thing really. It's not a bad thing. Well, at least not all the time.

But sometimes things happen that should have remained private. Like as in remained private forever. And ever.

Yesterday, a new level of "comfort" took place. It certainly wasn't comfortable for me, but it was for Sugar Daddy, and I'm not sure I'm okay with that.

He went, you know, with the door open! Like as in OPEN! While I was a mere 3 feet away! There aren't enough exclamation points to express my utter disgust. But as he was mid, well, whatever, he said, and I quote, "At least this gives you something to blog about."

Yes. Yes it did. And um, thanks, I guess.

What You've Been Waiting For

One of the benefits of having your customized road bike stolen out of your garage in the middle of the day is the fact that the insurance company is very kind, and gives you a big fat check. The other benefit is that you can choose if you want your butt to be sore after a ride, or your arms, neck, back, and abs to be sore after a paddle. I chose the latter. This is moi, paddling out on our lake. It was a gloomy, overcast day, with a brisk wind, and only in the 60's. Meg, you would have hated it. Me, I was in heaven. I paddled out to the island, around the other side, and back again. Only an hour voyage, but we had other things to do that day.
And here's what the kidlets did whilst I paddled away. Don't worry, I didn't just leave them alone on the beach. Obviously, since someone had to be there to take the pictures. Sean stayed on shore (he's not an agua lover) and made sand castles and rivers with the girls. Here you can see Gretta does not share his fear of the water.
And Emma showing off her Olympic debut. I remember doing this when I was a kid. We called them "cherry drops". Jill was always way better at them than I was. She was better at a lot of things than I was. Still is. Man, I miss you guys.

Anyhoo, I love the kayak. Love.it. There is just something about being out on the water, nothing but me and the waves, the sound of the paddle slicing through the water, and knowing that I can be out there as long as my heart desires. Or until the kids are ready to leave.