In which I open up about the nether-regions and LCD TV's

It's true, we have gradiated (yes, I meant to spell it that way) to the 21st century. We are now the proud owners of an LCD TV. HD, mind you. And it has a story. Oh, what a story. How many people do you know that have incurred serious injury due to their television? Me, none. Well, one now. You'd think a TV would be fairly harmless, but alas, in this house nothing can be labeled harmless. Ask Sean how to balance a 30 pound, $1000 TV on a flimsy aluminum ladder without dropping it and sacrificing yourself to save it. He wouldn't know. You see, that is exactly what happened. And I swear it happened in slow-mo. Here I was sitting on the couch watching, due to the nether-region problem, and I saw his eyes get as big as saucers. Then the TV went falling. And falling. Holy crap, it's happening. Suddenly Sean is on the floor, ladder atop him, and TV is upside down on the wood floor. I was under the ladder too, but I have no idea how I ended up there, since I can barely walk, let alone pounce like a cat. The first thing he says: "I broke the TV!" Who cares? You just fell off a ladder. Duh. Well, the TV survived somehow, and Sean is now limping around with a bruised heel and a bunch of bumps and bruises. Note to self, accept help when it's offered as you dangle precariously above the fireplace on a flimsy aluminum ladder. And don't expect your wife and her aching nether-regions to pounce like a cat to help you. Even though I did. What can I say, I'm a sucker for falling spouse.