No One Always Or Never Does Anything

Last night was a big deal around here.

In our married life we've often done things we swore we'd never do. Owned a minivan, dressed our kids in cartoon character clothes, gone to bed angry, and other things along those same lines.

We also said we would never, ever take our kids back to Chuck-E-Cheese. We took Emma once when she was like 2, and it was a miserable experience.

But last night we wanted to do something special for Maggie, to celebrate her graduating from Speech. She sees the CEC commercials, and begs us to take her. We always refuse. So Sugar Daddy gets this idea that we surprise her with a trip to CEC to celebrate.

We did it.

We went to Chuck-E-Cheese with all 3 kids.

It wasn't as bad as I remembered. We arrived just before 5, and it was practically empty. By the time we left at 7, it was getting packed, and more and more obnoxious. I think the timing was perfect, because I couldn't have lasted much longer in the chaos.

We came home with 3 toys purchased with our 400 tickets, and 3 very happy exhausted kids.

But I swear, I'll never do that again.

Shake Your Booty

Maggie had her dance recital on Thursday night. She was so excited to wear her costume, and to wear make-up. She did an awesome job, so without further ado, I give you the review.

They each got trophies with their names on them. So adorable.

Striking a pose in her "Perfect Day" routine.

The group shot.

And the picture before she sweated off her make up and her piggies fell out.

On another note, we had been growing her hair out for months for this big night. She really wanted to do two pig tails for her recital. So we grew it and grew it, much to the dismay of her overly sensitive head. She hates washing, conditioning, or combing her hair ever, so with her thick mane, and the long locks, it was a total nightmare. I told her we'd cut her hair as soon as her recital was over. The very next day, we were getting the trailer ready to go, and she got a big wad of gum stuck in her hair. Perfect excuse to cut it! So it all came off into a cute A-line bob. She looks adorable, and now she doesn't cry nearly as much when we have to do it, which makes me a happy mom.

It Could Go Either Way

My Maggie is a crack up. She loves TV. Pretty much any cartoon, or Disney show, will hold her attention for hours. She likes to be mellow, and keep the excitement to a minimum. But there is one show that will get her out of bed at 6:00 AM, and this show will keep her mesmerized until the very end, even if she's seen it a million times.

A Baby Story on TLC.

Seriously, she's obsessed. I don't really know why. And I certainly don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. She became very interested in it when I had Gretta, naturally, and it has just continued over the last 2 years.

But here's what I think about it. I figure this little obsession of hers could go 2 ways. 1, she will turn into a creepy pregnant-lady stalker. You know the ones. They rub your belly, give unfounded advice, and ask for all the gory details of your birth. Or 2, she will become a wildly successful OB/GYN, and possibly have her own TLC show, makes tons of money, and support Sugar Daddy and I until we die.

I like #2. Obviously.

I just hope this isn't doing her any harm. I don't want her to think that birth is something to be ashamed of, or that she should shy away from asking questions about her body. I like the openness of it all. But if she turns into creepy pregnant-lady stalker, it's not because I didn't try to get her to go to medical school.

Totally Random

I realized yesterday that it's been a while since I posted any pics. I guess my thoughts have gotten better of me than my camera has. But here is some proof that I do indeed take pictures most days. I just don't get around to uploading and posting them like I should. Bear with me.


Emma playing dress up with Mags. This is a pretty rare occurrence around our house these days. Emma is growing past the dress up stage, and to be honest, she and Maggie rarely play anything together anymore. Unless it has to do with the computer or the DS, Emma pretty much stays away from having much to do with Maggie. I think she sees her as the annoying little sister. I remember being that annoying little sister. It's a hard stage.


Here is Gretta enjoying opening up her birthday present from Poppa. When we were in Utah for the summer, my mom had this little fox that graced the bottom shelf of one of her cabinets. Gretta always found it and carried it around the house. I had completely forgotten about it until it arrived as part of her package. You can see she pretty much thinks it's the coolest thing ever.



This was her first expression after ripping open the paper it was wrapped in. She was as shocked as I was. But then she hugged it, kissed it, and tried to ride it around the house like a horse.


Pre-tearing of the goods. She also got an outfit that she thinks is pajamas, a pack of Care Bears playing cards which have mostly found themselves shoved into every nook and cranny of the toy room, and a fancy schmancy card with Minnie Mouse on it. She loves it all!


Here is Maggie showing off her Valentines boxes she made for her dance class. We only had to make like 10 valentines, so instead of buying a huge pack of cards for $3.00, we went to our local craft store, bought 10 pieces of paper for $1.00, and used their die cut machine to cut the design for the boxes. She folded them, I glued the bottoms, and she filled them up with candy hearts. They were the hit of the class for sure.

So that pretty much sums up the most interesting pictures I've taken in the last few weeks. I'm still on the lookout for a funny Friday image, but I'll keep looking. I have the best one, but for the life of me, I can't find the picture to go with the story. I'll do my best, just for you.

*I have been asked about the origin of the fox. I can honestly say I have no idea from whence it came. It's just always been around the house, and I never thought to ask my mom about it. You know, it wasn't one of those important things you think about in the last few weeks of someone's life. I find myself having a lot of those moments. I wish I could call her up and ask her. Anywhoo, if any of you know where the fox originated, I would love to know.

I Heart Faces

I'm giving in, and doing an I heart faces contest. I'm such a sheep. Here's my entry. It better win. Wink wink.

Go here and see all the entrants.

On Being a Good Mom

We all know I'm in the running for mother of the year, right? I'm pretty sure I'll win after this one.

The other day, I was back and forth and back and forth at neighbor Kate's house, in a futile attempt at perfecting our latest business venture. This back and forthing meant there were a few moments here and there when Gretta and Maggie were home alone. Not a big deal, since I was literally across the street. Like, driveway to driveway across the street. I just don't worry.

Well, as I was leaving Kate's house, the friendly AT&T man was walking through the neighborhood, and gave me a friendly wave. I waved back, because I'm nice like that.

Turns out, friendly AT&T guy had just come from my house, where Maggie answered the door, and promptly told him that she was home alone babysitting her little sister.

Of course this was shocking to him, since he has no idea how good of a mom I am, and that I would never leave my kids alone for more than, oh, a few hours. Not. Kidding, kidding, people. But he did proceed to tell my other neighbor Nancy that her next door neighbor had her kids home alone. She was shocked by this, because I still have her fooled.

But seriously, I was gone a total of like 5 minutes. And my kids of been given strict instructions not to open the door to anyone, or answer the phone, unless it's someone they know and trust. So really, is it my fault or theirs? Kidding again.

This does frighten me a little. Not enough to make me paranoid, but I guess I need to have another good sit down talk with the kids about what to do when mommy is across the street. You know, stranger danger and all that.

Anyway, I'm certain the word is out that I'm a finalist in the mother of the year contest, and hopefully this puts off any unfit contenders, cause I have a spot all cleared off on my mantle for that award.

*and as I write this post, my dear daughter is watching a Roseanne marathon. Yep.
*and here is a funny post I read about leaving your kids in the car. The comments are top-notch. You should totally read it, and the comments.

Sign Of The Times

We visited the dentist yesterday. Maggie has her first cavity growing on her back tooth, and it was getting to the point where I could see it growing worse every day. So we headed off to the dentist's office. It's a decent amount of time in the car to get there, so as we drove, Emma, who is now big enough to ride in the front seat, and I had a good conversation about school. She began telling me how they were learning to play "Kiss The Girl" on the steel drums.

Maggie piped up from the back seat, and said she knew that song. She hears it on the radio all the time. I was confused, as I absolutely refuse to listen to Radio Disney, and couldn't for the life of me figure out where she would have heard that song.

She began singing it at the top of her lungs. "'I kissed a girl, and I liked it....'" She sang. And sang.

Totally not the right song, but wow, was I a little shocked. I don't listen to music like that for 2 reasons. 1, I hate Pop music. It just doesn't feel right to me to BeBop along to kid-like DJ music. 2, the lyrics of that song, and a lot of other Pop songs are atrocious. I'm still not sure where she heard it, especially enough times to pick up the words so perfectly.

So here we are, buzzing along to get Maggie's first cavity filled as she sings a song about a first time lesbian encounter. We had a lot of firsts that day.

Economy Of Mythical Proporthons

My baby lost her first tooth. She's 5. An early bloomer, just like her mom. She had a full set of teeth at 5 months, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised by this, but I thought I had at least another year before she started losing the pearly calcifications.

The Tooth Fairy dropped off $5 in $1 bills. Chalk that one up to the economic crisis. I think the government should offer all mythical creatures a bit of that bailout money, don't you? I mean, I've seen Santa panhandling on the street corner for weeks now. I guess he's out of a job too. Let's hope Obama can help him out, huh?



And here is our toothless wonder. She is quite excited to use that new found hole by squeezing a straw in the gap, and using it as a "holder". Honestly, it was the cutest little tooth. So tiny. And such a metaphor for what is to come. I know soon we'll be looking into braces, and acne wash, and lip gloss. Too soon. Too, too soon.

At Least It's Clean

Yesterday started out like most days. Up and at em bright and early. Emma off to school, Maggie awake and dressed in her standard outfit consisting of a Hannah Montana shirt, jeans, and the puffy pink skirt over the top of the jeans, all of this topped off with sparkly pink shoes. She is all girl. And Gretta being her silly self carrying around 13 binkies and her milk. We headed over to the local Starbucks to meet up with some friends and get "coffee", which is code for Hazelnut Hot Cocoa. Mmm. I chatted up the ladies while the kids sufficiently destroyed the table and chairs with donut pieces and spilled milk. Eh, we'll just leave a tip, no biggie. After I had my fill of funny stories and gross sex talk, it was time to head off to Maggie's dance class. She danced her little butt off. Gretta got her white-girl groove on, too, and it was hilarious.

So we head home. I've decided that on the way, a trip to Linens N Things is in order, to take advantage of their misfortune of going out of business and scoring an electric blanket for cheap. Sounds good, right? Yeah. So I'm heading along, minding my business and listening to Cathy and Judy's Sex Thursday talk show, when I approach the turn off for my street. Should I continue to LNT, or should I head home and put Gretta to bed? Hmm. If only there was a way for this decision to be made for me. If only.

Then suddenly, "Waaahh, baaarrrfff." Gretta has spewed all over in her car seat. Decision made. I turn up the street and head home as fast as I can. She continues barfing in her seat, not really crying, mostly just saying "Eeewww", and looking at her slime covered hands. We whip into the driveway, I pull her out of the van, and strip her down naked on the grass. Mind you, it's 30 degrees outside. But I'm not taking any chances of having my van smell like rotten milk, as I was doomed to drive around a Jeep that smelled that way all summer. My bad. But I digress.

I pop G in the tub, and start the mind numbing task of disassembling the damn car seat. Does that remind you of the movie Short Circuit? "No disassemble, no disassemble! Number 5, alive!" That movie reminds me of Meg for some reason. And again, I digress.

What the heck is with those car seats? I mean really. I understand the need for safety and all that good stuff, but who hasn't had their kid puke in the car seat, and needed to rip it apart STAT? You'd think they would make them a little easier to get apart for washing and sanitizing and such. This is the second time in 5 months I've had this kid puke in her car seat. I should be a pro at this by now. I'm not. So now I have a clean, sanitized, taken apart car seat in my dryer. Sugar Daddy is out of town, and this time I don't have an identical model to copy like I did last time. What's a girl to do? I guess I'll stay home and take care of business here. Or I could attempt to put it back together. But at least it's clean.

What I'm Doing Today

Mondays. Ugh. I don't especially look forward to Mondays. Don't get me wrong, I would look forward to them less if I had to go "off" to work, but dealing with what is left behind from a weekend of slakerness is no picnic either.


My kitchen in all its glory. The weekend tornado has definitely left its mark.



The laundry. Okay, it's been sitting here since Friday, so sue me. Part of me was hoping that Sugar Daddy would take it upon himself to put it away. Or at least carry it upstairs. I should have known better.



Bebe. I had to make a PetsMart run the other night for some necessities. Look at that cute new sweater. Don't judge me, it was 19 this morning, and I'm pretty sure I'd want a sweater on when I went outside to pee and poop and then eat my poop. Oh, and the diaper. Yeah, it's her time of the month. About the only thing I hate about a female dog that isn't fixed. I think it's time to get that taken care of. She hates the diaper, and I hate cleaning up the mess if there isn't a diaper.



And here's a shot of Maggie. I just love this kid. She was trying so hard to finish off the Lucky Charms so she could start cutting out the mask on the back. That's Mags, for you. Always the crafter. Cutting, pasting, taping, whatever.

So, that's pretty much my day. I'll be making a stop at the library for a new book. I've started the Janet Evanovich books "One for the Money", and so far I've read through One, part of Fourteen, some of Four, and just finished Three last night. In that order. Good thing I'm SMRT, or I'd get confused. Who knows what else today will bring, there's always a surprise in store.

Dancing Queen

Maggie has been taking dance lessons for the last month. And let me tell you, if there could be one girl that loves to dance more than any other girl on the Earth, it's Maggie. This girl, she amazes me. Just when I think she couldn't get more girly, she goes and does something that just makes my jaw drop. Like galloping. She gallops everywhere, because that is what she learned to do in dancing class. Here is a picture of her galloping around her gym. She's wearing a tail, and they were dancing to Jungle Book music. It was adorable.



And here she is looking possessed while trying to hop on one foot. She is really quite good at hopping, but it's hopping and looking graceful at the same time that trips her up.

Mostly I just love that she loves it. It's like soccer or any other sport kids choose to do. Seeing the joy of accomplishment in their eyes, and the thrill of the new and undiscovered that makes spending all that time each week freezing my butt off in a musty old gym worth it.

2nd Picture

I was tagged by Rachel, (which reminds me, I'm still not positively sure as to how to pronounce your name correctly. I've heard it like Ray-shell, and I've also heard it like Ruh-shell, so if you could enlighten me, that would be super!) who challenged me to post the 2nd picture ever uploaded to my computer. Wow, this is going way back in the way back machine. I have a few less chins, and Maggie has a whole lotta black hair! And I can't believe Emma. She's always seemed so grown up to me, but she looks so little in this picture. So here you go.




I think my BFF Lisa Blackburn took this picture, she also gave Emma that little dolly, which we still have! We also still have the jammies Emma has on. My mom gave those to Emma when I was still in the hospital after giving birth. Of course now, the sleeves and pants have been cut off to fit an ever growing child, and making them much more comfy. Gretta was just wearing them the other day, and they are trash-tastic! But I digress.

Maggie was about a week old in this picture, I think. I know she was still pretty new, because I can only fit in those jeans I have on for about the first 2 weeks after I have a baby. Then the tummy puffs back up, and there's no way in Hell those things are going on. They've been that way with all 3 babies. Plus, obviously I was still not sleeping much, just look at that shiny skin and the apparent lack of blow drying skills. Nice. Sugar Daddy is looking good as always, though. He's my babe.

Birthday Girl

Today is Maggie's birthday. She's 5. I can't believe that I have kept a human being alive for 5 years. Some things we love about Maggie are:

She is always crafting. She loves to cut and paste, and color and draw, and sing and dance and dress up.

She is very smart. She had an evaluation done for her speech class. She scored the highest possible points. She gets that from her mother. ;)

She is very, um, shall we say, determined. She knows what she wants, and she will do whatever it takes to get it. She gets this from Sugar Daddy.

She has a special affinity for Nunn Bee. Nunn Bee is my mom's mom, who died before Maggie was born. Yet somehow, Maggie knows all about her. Especially that Nunn Bee gave her all that hair she has. I love that they share old souls.

She is very independent. She will climb on counters and chairs and stools if it warrants getting something she's after. This is a trait I love.


So Maggie, I love you. You are very special. I know you chose to come to our family because you knew you'd be happy here. You have a very special spirit, and have a definite sense of right and wrong. Thank you for being so sweet and kind. You are a wonderful daughter!

This Is Life

I have a killer cold. If I was a man, it would be a "man cold". And if I was motivated at all, I would put a super duper link to the "Man Cold" on YouTube, but you can "Tube" it yourself, cause I'm lazy like that. I fell asleep at 8:00 last night. It rocked. But I still feel like total crap.
*Oh, alright, I linked it. Geez. Now I need a nap.

Gretta is repeatedly trying to wedge herself under my computer chair. With each and every attempt, she bonks her head, hard, on the frame. And yet she continues to try. Tenacious, yes. Mentally ill, possibly.

I have seen Sugar Daddy a total of 15 minutes this week. No, that's a bad thing. See, it's his busy season, getting everything sorted out to different retailers for their Christmas sales. Which means he works at 5AM and gets in just after 7PM. I know I shouldn't complain because it's much harder on him than it is on me, but it's my blog, so I can complain about whatever I want. And tonight he's partaking in the Cubs vs. Brewers game in Milwaukee, so that means he won't be home until after midnight. I don't feel bad for him, though.

Maggie had her first dance class yesterday. Yeah, I'm such a good mom, I forgot the camera.

Emma missed the bus yesterday. Again. So she was late.

Gretta has a fever, a rash, and a limp. This warranted a trip to the ER, but she checked out fine.

My slutty dog has decided it's much more fun to spend the days philandering around the neighborhood than being cooped up in the house with a sick bitchy mom. I rarely know if she's in or out. And to be honest, I don't care anymore.

Oh, and I've been wearing the same pair of denim capris all week. I change my shirt and bra, of course, and my undies, but the pants, they just keep calling my name. I need a new pair. Or pairs.

Feel free to slap the Mother of the Year award right here.

Music Days

I have the bestest friends ever. I really do. They take care of me.

Thanks to Dubya and her sweet leadership skills, Gretta is getting Kindermusik lessons. I had no idea how fun this class could be. She loves it. And after just one class, she remembers the "Hammer hammer hammer and See Saw See" actions. I'm sure it's because she's a genius, and not because the class is so much fine. Right.

So we're off to music class today.

And tomorrow brings dance lessons for Maggie. I worry because dance is so girly and she's, just, well, probably more girly than even dance lessons could be, if that's possible. She is so excited, she already has her outfit picked out for tomorrow. That kid, honestly.

Artsy Fartsy

Yesterday was a beautiful day. Warm, at least for this part of the country, and dry, and thanks to Sugar Daddy and his genocide skills, relatively bee-free. That alone could be a post, but I'm more apt to show pictures today. It's been a while, and I've been reprimanded by Kelli who insists I show more pictures of Gretta. Your patience has been rewarded.

Is it just me, or did those first sentences sound all smart and stuff? Wow, 'nuff a dat. Moving on.

Kate had a great idea, and we decided to go ahead and do it right on my driveway. She bought the kids some blank canvases (canvii?) and brought out the paints. The kiddos went all crazy with the cheez whiz and whipped up some real masterpieces.


Maggie showing off her mad skills. She loved doing the dots, and just couldn't stop herself.


And here you go. If I had Photoshop, or the desire to even learn Photoshop, I would totally turn that can into a PBR. Or, more appropriately, Miller Lite. This is Miller country, or so I hear.


My little G. She is so dang sassy. You should see that girl strut her stuff. When she gets going, those arms go swinging, and that diaper shimmies side to side. It's hilarious. One of these days I'll catch it on video. Cause I know you're dying to see one more mom show off how adorable she thinks her kids are. But mine really are. Really.

Anyway, that's it for today. I know I was supposed to do Fun For Friday, and highlight a Noorda Notable, but since I missed a day posting, I thought I better do a make up day. Maybe I'll surprise you with a post tomorrow. I know! Can you imagine? Me, posting on a Saturday? Crazy talk! Since Sugar Daddy is working all day, I may just have to make time and put up a funny little Notable. Are they really that funny? They are to me. Maybe not to anyone besides my family, but at least it gives the rest of you insight into why I am the way I am.

Later!

Mom's Day Out

I thought after the kid got in school, it would be all naps and Wal-Mart for me.

I was so very wrong.

Turns out, I have to spend just about as many days in school as Emma does. Lucky me. Yesterday was one of those days. Now, don't go and think that I have to go sit with her in class (like my mom did with me until 4th grade) or anything crazy like that. It seems I have turned over a new leaf, and have finally overcome my social phobia. So now I get to volunteer in Emma's class every week. That was yesterday. Yesterday was also Maggie's first day of Speech Therapy. That's also at a school. A different school. So that made 2 schools in 1 day. Whew.

I know, I know. Some of you with 10 kids are like "Lady, what are you bitching about? Wait until you have to do PTO at 3 different schools, football, cheerleading, FHA, and VICA all in the same day!". I completely agree. You definitely have it harder than I.

But it's my blog, so I can bitch freely.

FYI, I also went to the library yesterday. I felt very Collegiate. Or maybe more Elementary. Whatever.

But for those of you wondering, thank you, Maggie's speech went well. Of course her intelligence is not an issue, she takes after her mother, but it's always good to see it on paper. She has a lot to say, it's just a matter of getting the words out correctly. And what did I do as soon as we left the school? Picked up the phone to call my mom. Again. Do you think I'll ever quit?

This One's For You

I admit it. It's hard. It's hard blogging, and posting adorable pictures of my adorable kids. (I'm humble, what can I say.) It's hard knowing that my mom won't be on the other side of this blog to appreciate all the latest upgrades. She won't be there seeing Gretta's curls. Or the fact that she only has 3 teeth on the bottom.
She won't be there to see Maggie's big blue eyes, and strong lips. She won't be sitting in her office chair, taking a break from the latest phone call, or game of Free Cell, to take a look, and be transported to my world for just a few minutes through this blog.

It almost makes we want to stop blogging.

For some reason it just feels more empty now. Don't get me wrong, I blogged long before my mom ever even knew the internet existed for things other than porn. (Wait, that makes it sound like all she did was look at porn. She never looked at porn. She just thought only sickos used the internet, not good upstanding moms like us.) And before she read this blog, it made me feel more fulfilled just because I was keeping a journal for myself. But now, since she used to read and comment every day, I feel like I'm not even blogging for me anymore. I used to look so forward to the latest pic or story I would post, because I knew it would make her day. And maybe make her less mad at me for moving away. I guess I'm just in a blog funk. Bear with me.

I just know this picture would make her day. Little footprints down the driveway. And for anyone that knows my mom, knows how much she loved the poem "Footprints", so it's just perfect. So mom, this one's for you. I love you. And I miss you every day.


Again, sorry for the sad, lame-o post. Stay tuned later this week for some mad beach action, the Latin Festival, the Maiden Kayak Voyage, and the Aquarium. I know, you're on the edge of your seats.