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    Monday, August 25, 2008

    This One's For You

    I admit it. It's hard. It's hard blogging, and posting adorable pictures of my adorable kids. (I'm humble, what can I say.) It's hard knowing that my mom won't be on the other side of this blog to appreciate all the latest upgrades. She won't be there seeing Gretta's curls. Or the fact that she only has 3 teeth on the bottom.
    She won't be there to see Maggie's big blue eyes, and strong lips. She won't be sitting in her office chair, taking a break from the latest phone call, or game of Free Cell, to take a look, and be transported to my world for just a few minutes through this blog.

    It almost makes we want to stop blogging.

    For some reason it just feels more empty now. Don't get me wrong, I blogged long before my mom ever even knew the internet existed for things other than porn. (Wait, that makes it sound like all she did was look at porn. She never looked at porn. She just thought only sickos used the internet, not good upstanding moms like us.) And before she read this blog, it made me feel more fulfilled just because I was keeping a journal for myself. But now, since she used to read and comment every day, I feel like I'm not even blogging for me anymore. I used to look so forward to the latest pic or story I would post, because I knew it would make her day. And maybe make her less mad at me for moving away. I guess I'm just in a blog funk. Bear with me.

    I just know this picture would make her day. Little footprints down the driveway. And for anyone that knows my mom, knows how much she loved the poem "Footprints", so it's just perfect. So mom, this one's for you. I love you. And I miss you every day.

    Again, sorry for the sad, lame-o post. Stay tuned later this week for some mad beach action, the Latin Festival, the Maiden Kayak Voyage, and the Aquarium. I know, you're on the edge of your seats.

    13 Response(s):

    LuVera said...

    Keli, keep posting pictures of your adorable kids. I love your blog.

    Laura said...

    Awe, cute pictures Keli! Your mom might not be reading the blog but you know she is still close by watching over you and your girls. I'm sure she knows exactly what is going on.

    Larissa said...

    I'm sorry Keli. I can only imagine how you feel. I only wish they had blogging when I was out in Iowa as it would have helped me connect with all of my family so much better. Please keep blogging. In a way it's therapy for me. It's great to keep the rest of your family involved and I love reading your words and seeing your pictures. Then, when you come to visit, I feel like I know you better and your family can feel like they didn't miss as much. I think your mom would want you to keep blogging.

    I miss your mom's comments too. I like to go back and read them on my blog and read her blog as well.


    Eliza said...

    Those pictures are gorgeous! I do love Gretta's curls. Don't be too hard on yourself--you can write as many sad posts as you want for as long as you want and we will still keep reading.

    One of the curses of the RSS feed is that means that many fewer blogs get comments from me. I am so bad at commenting on blogs I subscribe to. I will try to get better at it!

    Meg said...

    Keep blogging, you still have sisters who want to see Gretta's curls and Maggie's blue eyes and Emma's first day of school.

    I miss her too, but don't worry, she is still here. She is with us everyday.

    Jill Johnson said...

    Dang you! I was holding it together pretty good this morning until I read your blog. I thought the very same thing as I posted a bunch of adorable pics. This sucks!! I love you, and I love Gretta's curls and Maggie's eyes.

    Kirsten said...

    keep posting I love to see your girls and you are such a good writer. You always make my day brighter.
    I couldn't believe how long gretta's hair was and maggie's are gorgeous.

    Shylo said...

    I love the picture of the little footprints; I bet your mom does too. It is so awesome to know that she is still around even though she is not physically. (I am sure that does not make it any easier) You are such an awesome person...I am glad you moved here so we could meet!

    Rachel Bingham said...

    Keli, first of all I want to tell you how excited I am to be on the "peeps" list! Wow! What an honor!

    Second of all, I think it is wonderful that you were able to have such an amazing mom. There are those of us who have a more strained relationship. It is hard to describe...but let me say only mom never reads my blog. Sad I know. But I have sisters, and friends that I call sisters. And they are there for me. You and your sisters have an amazing bond. I can tell just watching and reading your interactions from a distance. So even though your mom may be watching from somewhere else, keep the pictures coming for the rest of us! We care. We love to see their beautiful faces and watch them grow up! Thanks for sharing and for being so sweet!

    grannybabs said...

    I'm pretty sure you will never not miss your mom - and that is a tribute to what a wonderful mom she was - and like Eliza says, you can post all the sad posts your little heart so desires to post.

    But I bet you will start telling us wonderful little stories about her - and it might make you a bit melancholy to write them, but it will keep her alive for others - especially your children - who will read these when they get older.

    I never met my Grandmother Agnes Clayton - she died when my dad was 17 - but he told us stories about her my whole life growing up - and sometimes I feel like I know her and will recognize her when I do meet her.

    Kelli said...

    Love you too! That's all I can say because I can't see through the tears! Thanks for the talk today!

    SuperGabers - The Mom said...

    Keep blogging for me Keli. I check it everyday. This post was not "lame-o". It was beautiful and real. I believe it will help mend the hole in your heart. I love ya babe.

    Laryl said...

    Ditto to all of the above! Your blog is wonderful and since I can't see your beautiful girls growing up next door...this will have to do. So keep the pics coming! I love them!!