Because I'm a naughty woman

I guess I need a time out. And not a moment too soon. The last few nights, after eating dinner and practically begging my children to eat what's on their plates, I've made a clicking sound with my mouth, and said, "That is the sound of me punching my time card. I'm done for the day." And with that I left Sugar Daddy to clean up the dishes, and what not.

I've succumbed to a strange sense of domestication in the last few weeks. A new sewing machine, home cooked dinners almost every night, and a peculiar sense of accomplishment for the little things such as sweeping, or loading the dishwasher. This is all very new and exciting to me. Maybe I'm growing up, maybe I'm fooling myself. Whatever. All I know is that I'm looking forward to this weekend for 2 reasons.

1. I get a night away from my kids and snoring husband.
2. I get to spend 2 days with women that have made me their friend, without even knowing me, and listening to wonderful speakers tell us we are doing a good job.

And right now, that's all I need. A sense of domestic bliss, coupled with a pat on the back. That makes for a very sweet revival.

Time to 'fess up

Because I'm lacking a little blog posting creativity, I'm doing the standard roll call.

All you lurkers out there, don't be shy.

All you have to do is state the following:

1. Your name
2. How you found my blog
3. Your favorite movie, tv show, or CD.

Easy, right? That's just how I roll.

Because I can't decieve you

I have a confession to make.

I fell off the wagon. And I fell hard.

That's right, people. I failed miserably.

I lasted approximately 18 hours.

I blame the GNO we had last week.

So here I sit, typing my confession, and drinking my amber delight.

And life is good.

Hell has frozen over

Look at this. I have become domestic. Scary.

Yes, it's a new sewing machine. I was inspired by a friend of mine who has a cute scripture bag made from a place mat. So cute! And now that I live so far away, sniff sniff, from Mom C's sewing expertise, I figured it was time I start on my own. The thing I love the most about this model, is the speed control. It will sew at the slowest speed for beginners, so I can teach the girls how to sew. I've already fixed a pair of garments, and I plan on doing some tights later today. I'll certainly post any crafts I make!

In Case that last post was too serious

I give you this. Hopefully it will brighten your day.

S-M-R-T, smart

Well, I gave in. I've done it. We all know that I'm addicted to my celeb trash, right? Well, I took it one step further, and actually bought, and read, the Tom Cruise Unauthorized Biography. It takes celeb trash to a whole nother level. I have several strong opinions on this book, one of which is particularly scathing, so I'll keep that one to myself. All I can say, is Tom Cruise, you are a selfish, controlling, sociopath with no thought or feeling for another human being.

There, I said it.

Now, to explain.

Scientology. Whatever. It apparently was founded on "the fact" that people are inhabited by aliens, and the goal of Scientology is to rid the body of these invaders. Ooookay. As far as Mr. Cruise being involved in this, he really had no choice. You see, Scientology nearly fell off the face of the earth in the early '80's. So to hold on to the last few remaining members, they had to practically cater to their needs. Enter Tom. This, ahem, "religion" has basically been formed around what he needs, when he needs it, and with whom he wants to socialize. Who wouldn't want that kind of attention? Me, for one, but this isn't about me. Yeah, yeah, there are other weird things about Scientology, like Auditing, and Operating Thetans, and Potential Trouble Sources, oh, and their hatred and guile for any form of Psychiatry. Turns out, if you ever use any form of Psychiatric medication, you are sent to Scientology work camps. I guess that excluded the dear founder of Scientology, Mr. L. Ron Hubbard, since he was found to be full of anti-psychotics when he died.

Now don't get me wrong, the book is about much more than just Scientology, but it's basically about the same thing. Tom not getting what he wants, pouting, turning into a jerk, and shutting down any kind of human feeling for others. He wantonly tossed Ms. Kidman aside through an email after a 10 year marriage. Nice. He also lied about his being a "functional illiterate", since he never had any special education classes after the 3rd grade. He even read and memorized scripts for school plays on his own.

So this to me, just brings home the point that Tom, you suck. You may be eye candy, but that is all. Just a shell. Just a pretty, tan, short, aging shell of a person. I pity your Thetans.

So far, so...

Good? I don't know. I've off-centered these cute prints on my big big blank wall. What do you think? Good? Bad? Ugly? Note there will eventually be furniture in this room, although at this point Sugar Daddy is convinced it should be a pool table. What is this? A bachelor pad?

And here's a little sumthin sumthin just cause she's so cute. She sticks her tongue out at everyone. She thinks she's pretty darn funny. And she is.

Mornings

Mornings around here are crazy. It starts off with me not being a morning person. At.All. But up I get at 6:50, okay, more like 7:00, to get Emma off to school at 7:50. It always entails some sort of "motivational prodding" to get her out the door on time, dressed for the subzero temperatures. Gretta is undoubtedly walking around yelling at me for one reason or another. This seems to be her new favorite pastime. Lucky me. Today she was doing so in socks and a diaper. Her new thing is to be naked. I'm pretty sure she gets this from Sugar Daddy.

But as I sit here watching the Space Shuttle landing in Florida, and see my kids playing and eating breakfast, it makes my life seem small and insignificant. But as small as it may be, it is my whole life. Maggie carrying her blankie around, Gretta waddling and yelling as she carries some sort of tool she has found, and Emma barely making it out the door and to the bus stop on time. It's crazy, and wild, and maybe it is insignificant to most, but it's what I love about my life.

Can it be?

Today I was watching Oprah. It's a sinful indulgence of mine, especially that now she comes on at 9:00 AM my time. Right when I'm letting my hair air dry or folding laundry, so it's the perfect coupling with time wasting and multi tasking. Dr. Oz was on, and aside from being kinda hunky in a dorky doctor sort of way, he's very smart. And he asks good, pointed questions without making people feel self conscious. A trait I need to adopt, I suppose. So Dr. Oz has started "Prescription America" to help Americans get more healthy. His first goal is to get us to stop drinking soda. Even diet.

Insert gut wrenching moan here.

I am a diet Pepsi girl. I must get it from Momma. Sean and I have a bad habit of always having a "tasty beverage" in our cup holders at all times. Yesterday, case in point, I stopped at BK for a Diet before heading to the JBF. As the helpful lady handed me the giant cup, I went to place it in my holder, only to find 3 empty cups occupying my cup holders. I may have a problem.

So this challenge comes at a good time for me. I've recognized the problem, and I'm now willing to do something about it. So this morning, I enjoyed what is to be the last of my tasty beverages. So long good, sweet, bubbly friend. I'll miss you. And I'm not looking forward to the dull, aching headache that is sure to follow. Hopefully Dr. Oz is right, and this will make me feel better. Not that I'm feeling bad, but I guess you can always feel "better".

Anyway, here goes nothin.

As per Mom's request

Here's more video of the kids being kids. And fear not, when you see Maggie's outfit and crack up, just remember I am saving all her outfits up for an "outfit of the day" post. She's so creative, I just don't want to squash that. Yet.




Kids will be kids, and my floors will recover from the scratches, I hope.

Oh, happy day

Today is Presidents Day. I'm sure you knew that already, since many of you are home from work, and I'm sure you're celebrating the lives of our Presidents' with reflection into their contributions and the like.

Uh huh.

Well, I'm off to the Jelly Belly Factory (again) with some Ward chicks. Should be fun. I don't really want to go since I was just there and had an awful puking experience, but I'm doing my duty and making some new friends. This time I will not be buying any Cappuccino JBZ. So rest assured, you won't have to hear about me worshiping the porcelain
God in a future post. Oh, and did I mention it's snowing today? Joy.

So have a good one, and I'll be seein' ya'll tomorrow.

My pet peeves

Ah, yes. Time to vent.

Old blue-hair's who take up both lanes of traffic. Go home, granny!
Mom jeans
Misspelled marquee signs
Pot holes
Cold, bright, melty days
Laundry
Vacuuming
Poopy diapers, and anything else that goes along with bodily functions
Headaches
Sister's that are NASCAR fans. WTH?

I feel much better now. Thank you.

Happy Valentine's Day, Lover

And to this sweet nothing, I received a "Happy Valentine's Day, to you too, Woman".


And somehow, this was sweet. Especially coming from Sugar Daddy.


Reasons I love Sugar Daddy:

He's a great dad.
He's a great hubby.
He opens my car door for me, but only on special occasions.
He puts gas in the car.
He cleans the floor for no reason.
He snores like nobody's business.
He smells.
He makes me less serious about life.
He supports me in my crazy "ambitions".
His sole purpose in life is to make my life easier. And that's the truth.

We never celebrate V-Day around here, because we say every day is Valentine's Day. Even though that may be a stretch, we really do love each other, and we make a pretty darn cute couple. If cute includes.... I won't expound on that. You're welcome.

So thanks, Honey! I love you.

Here we go

1 month ago

One month ago today, we were leaving.

Leaving our family and friends for an unknown adventure 2000 miles away.

I was crying my eyes out, the kids were sad, and confused, and Sugar Daddy was being his usual stoic self, supporting me as best he could.

In this month, that has flown by too fast, we've had several things happen:

Bullets!

• Realized our fuel tank is just a little too small to get us from gas station to gas station while pulling our trailer across the plains. Thank goodness for 5 gallon jugs.
• Learned to sneak our dog into hotel rooms.
• Found out that Mover's don't give a crap about the stuff they're moving.
• Mom will fly out here at a moments notice, if we just ask. Thanks, Mom!
• Felt extremely lonely when, on the first day in a new town, a kid gets seriously sick, and I realized I had no doctor, and no one to call for advice.
  
• Seen first hand that neighbors and friends, no matter their religion, can be good people.
• Receiving my first bottle of wine as a "Welcome" gift.
  
• The wine was tasty.
• Understanding that Utah cold has NOTHING on -27, and giving in and buying a coat.
  
• Gaining a testimony.... Of my GPS! Talk about being blindly led! I just have to have faith that it knows where I'm going, even when I don't.
  
• Finding a sense of accomplishment in doing the little things. And feeling more grown up than ever!
  

Even though it's been a hard month, long work hours for Sugar Daddy, sick kids, getting comfortable being "outside the box", and all that goes along with that, we really are settling in nicely. It feels good here, and we've made some nice friends. It's starting to feel more like "home", and that's a good feeling.

Today is a two post day

I know, try to contain your excitement.

Happy Birthday, GRACIE!!!

We love you, and miss you soooo much!

It 'Twas,

Soap

Poisoning!

Poor Gretta got a handful of soap today. She was having a gay old time splashing and pulling everything into the tub. And then came the soap. A big handful. And what's the first thing babies do with handfuls? Yep, right in the mouth. Obviously it was sour, so she reached up and rubbed her eyes.

So now she's going to be blind. Just like Ralphy.

I have issues

This isn't a surprise to those of you that know me. But I do. I have issues with a lot of things. This morning, for instance, my neighbor came to pick me up for a playgroup. I followed her there. I noticed her license plate is personalized, and makes reference to BYU. That kinda irks me. Then the playgroup mommies were very shy around me. I would have thought it would be the other way around, but whatever. That kinda bugs me. The dog poops on top of the snow, despite a nice spot of lawn being shoveled bare just for that purpose. That just makes me laugh, because there are all these little land mines all over our beautiful white wonderland.

But the thing that I have the most issue with is light switches. They should all face down when the lights are off, right? Right. Well, apparently super electrician that wired this house thought otherwise. Every switch here is a 3-way. Huh huh, 3 way. And there was no way to get them all down and off at the same time. It's been bugging me so bad since we moved in, but I figured there were a million other things to do besides stress over light switches. Well, Sugar Daddy felt my pain. Last night he fixed them. All of them. Ah, freedom. It's wonderful to see all the switches in the right direction.

Now if I could quit washing my hands and counting steps to the mailbox.....

Freezing?

Since my sister, she who shall remain nameless, Jill, is bragging it up that it's 60 degrees there in Hell, I mean Vegas, I thought I'd show you what you're missing out on here in the frozen North. Yes, people, that is my light switch covered in ice. Not too bad for an outside light switch, eh? Well, too bad it's INSIDE! Maybe I do keep my house a little on the cold side. Honestly, we don't know why it does this. It's just this one, right by the back door. I think a little spray foam insulation will fix it right up. Plus, I love using that stuff. It's so fun. So do I have your sympathy yet?

Bundle of Joy

Congrats to Kirsten and Bryan.

A new little boy, 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and 19 inches long has joined the ranks.

We need more boys, hint hint, Kristen and Michelle.

And good job Mom on the coaching thing. I think maybe you've found your true calling.

So I was thinking

I know, hard to believe. But I just discovered today that it is indeed February.

That means January is now officially over.

Finally.

I may be a little slow on the uptake here, but I almost breathed a sigh of relief. I walked outside today only to hear Geese flying over head. Is over head one word or two? Whatever. Geese, yes of the Canadian kind, were flying overhead, honking their little honkers out! It was adorable. I guess that's what I get for living so darn close to the Canadian border. I hear you have to watch out for those Canadians, though.

So I was thinking. I need a Spring pick me up. Here's what will help give me a little burst of energy to get through this remaining Winter. So pick the one you think will be the best.

1. A new outfit.
2. A spray on tan.
3. A mani-pedi.
4. A new hand bag.

What do you say? I'm leaving it up to you, folks. You've all done so well with the Writers block challenge, I just know you can do this too.

And I'm sorry this post sucks. Please refer to the previous post for my excuse. I promise to be back on track soon. Really. I do.

I think this is what writers block feels like

It seems like I've hit a creative wall. For some reason, my wit, humor, and even criticisms have run dry. I know! If I can't find it in me to criticize someone, it must be bad. I had been thinking of changing my blog template for a while, and as much as I love the Pyzam flowery cute ones, I just couldn't bring myself to be like everyone else. So I found this cute notebook one, and I liked it enough. I thought that would inspire me back into my norm, but alas, to no avail. So I changed the title of my blog. I'm always saying "Note to self..." followed shortly by "I forgot...". I think I get that from Momma. Still, no inspiration comes. I'm sure some of this has to do with the fact that I am currently living in a plain white generic looking house. I thought I'd be okay with neutral colors. Turns out, not so much. I should at least start hanging stuff on the walls, but I feel no inspiration for that either. What's a girl to do?

Ask fellow bloggers, of course!

I have a big empty room in my house. It's the first room you see when you enter the house. There is no furniture, only beige carpet and beige walls. I found these cute prints at, where else, Ikea, bought 3 of them, and plan to use them on the wall. But I want you to use them to create the space for me. I'll take pictures or links to stuff you think should go in my living room. Maybe that will inspire me out of this midwinter funk. Funk is a funny word. I knew a girl who's last name was Funk. I was always glad it was her and not me....

So there you go. We're talking furniture, artwork, rugs, sculpture, knick knacks, pets, people, whatever. So have at it, and help a chick out!

It's good to be related to smart people

Or at least people the blog smart. Since it seems that my wit well has run dry for today, I leave you with 2 links to check out.

The Terrills are hilare. Good people, good people. And Barb always has good tidbits of love and info to share. If you'd like a challenge for your frozen brains, check out her latest post here.

And for a funny voting joke, (Non-Partisan in case you were wondering), check out Bonny's lastest post here. She's a great gal. Beautiful, smart, and she has the cutest kids, next to mine of course.

Enjoy!

Oy, Vey!

Well, several things have happened here this weekend.

First, Friday was a snow day. We got a, ready yourself, good 6 inches! And yes, school was canceled. What's a mom to do? I knew I couldn't deal with 3 kids fighting all day and all weekend too, so we headed to Hannah Montana's new movie. Quite cute. Let's just hope she doesn't turn all White Trashy-fab like her Britney Spears counterpart. But for $15 a ticket, I would have liked a little more. Maybe a margarita at least? But I digress. After successfully finding our way there (and back, Mom), I decided it was time to invest in a new snow blower. Ah, the power that is a gas engine! Now we have the cleanest driveway on the block.

Saturday brought Sean cleaning out the garage. All day. Literally. He was out there from 9AM until 6:30 PM when I made him take us to dinner. I was craving Tacos El Norte, what can I say. But thanks to his efforts, I can now park in the garage that has an opener. No more prehistoric lifting of the garage door for me! Oh, we also pushed, yes pushed, the '49 chevy into the third car garage. That is one heavy effin truck. But now it has a home, so we're happy.

Sunday began as any normal day. Late for church, screaming kids, blah blah blah. But then I noticed Gretta had a fever. Uh oh. And Emma's eyes wouldn't stop watering, and she was coughing like a chain smoker. I knew I was in for it.

So Monday brought a visit to our new Pediatrician, who is darling, thank goodness. G has an ear infection, and Emma just has a cold. But after 3 kids, I thought I'd missed out on the joy that is ear infections. This is the first one for us. Ever. And the poor girl is miserable. Although I must say, I enjoy the cuddling that I normally don't get. Baby cuddling, that is. Don't get any ideas, Sugar Daddy.

And that brings us to today. Tuesday. Foggy, eerie Tuesday. It seems as though this is the calm before the storm, as they're saying 8-10 inches of snow tonight. They're even talking about schools getting canceled again tomorrow. Oh joy. But wait, that means I get to use the Snow Blower. Yay! I think I need to give that puppy a name. Any ideas? Maybe something slightly perverted, because you know how I am....

Me in a nutshell

10 years ago:

I was a newlywed. A miserable newlywed. I could not sleep with him in my bed, therefore my entire day was spent as a zombie. We lived in a teeny tiny apartment in Holladay. There were vertical blinds separating the bedroom from the kitchen. It was ghetto-fab for sure. We had no money, but we were in love, so it didn't matter. I was working at a job I hated, he was in school, and we had just gotten our first cell phone. Our car payments were more than our rent, and we would save up our change to go to "Gringos" for dinner and share a burrito. Oh, the good ol' days.

5 things on my "to do" list today:

1. Take 2 kids to the doctor.
2. Make the bunk beds.
3. Vacuum my room.
4. Get some hair gunk at the grocery store.
5. Get some groceries at the grocery store.

5 snacks I enjoy:

Only 5?
1. Chocolate anything.
2. Anything covered in chocolate.
3. Ice cream.
4. Cereal.
5. Chips Ahoy! cookies.

If I were given a billion dollars, I would:
1. Buy a private jet so I could fly around and see my family whenever I wanted.
2. Pay off my house.
3. Save it.
4. Not tell anyone.
5. Invest it in.... who knows.

3 bad habits:

1. I pick my lips.
2. I have a bad temper.
3. Yelling at my kids.

5 places I have lived:

1. Riverton, Ut
2. St. George, Ut
3. Sandy, Ut
4. Lake Villa, Il
5. ?

5 jobs I've had:

1. Receptionist.
2. Hair stylist.
3. Nursing assistant.
4. Mom.
5. Lover.

5 things people don't know about me:

1. I may have a serious side after all.
2. I'm afraid of drowning, but I love the water.
3. I hate breaking a nail.
4. I wanted to be a race car driver.
5. Bad grammar is a major turn off.

Happy Birthday G!

Okay, so I'm a week late posting Birthday pics. Sue me. At least they're getting posted at all. I was trying to find my magical cord that uploads the pictures from the camera to the puter.

Anyhoo, Gretta turned 1 on the 22nd. I honestly cannot believe she is 1. It seems just like yesterday we were boiling water and getting some clean sheets.

Now that she's here, and the cutest damn thing I've ever seen, I can't imagine life without her. For now a few of her favorite things are:

• Crawling superfast with her head down in an aerodynamic position. This helps with the wind drag.
• Yelling at the top of her lungs at anything.
• Squealing in delight when she sees a stuffed animal.
• Jumping in her crib.
• Calling the puppy.
• Sticking out her tongue.
• Throwing her binky, or anything, for that matter.
• Pulling everything off the sides of the tub.
• Throwing the bath towel in the water.

She really is a fun kid. She knows she can rely on her sisters for help, but she still likes Mom the best. Until Dad gets home, that is. As soon as she sees Sean walk in the door, she reaches out for him. He's even been known to use the facilities while holding her because he doesn't want to put her down for a second.

We had a fun party. We ate birthday cake that was mixed in a frying pan with a plastic fork using no measuring apparatus. It still turned out pretty well. But I think we're all glad the movers finally showed up and we can find what we need now.

So, Happy Birthday, G!