Custom Search

Twitter Updates

    follow me on Twitter

    Tuesday, January 13, 2009

    An Anniversary, Sort Of

    It's was a year ago today. A year ago that I did the most grown-up thing of my life. A year ago that I left my little cocoon of a life behind, and started across the plains like a modern day pioneer. It was a miserable morning that day. We awoke early to an unexpected snow storm. We packed up the final necessities, hugged, kissed, and cried our loved ones goodbye, and headed East, into the sunrise. There was definite excitement as we drove. Crossing each new state line brought us closer to a new adventure. There were times when the grief of leaving family behind was almost too much to bear. But we pressed on. It grew colder. We grew more excited. With each passing mile, the draw of a new life brought a new light to our hearts. We knew it was an experience we needed. We knew that our new life was all about what we made it to be.

    Without knowing even a single soul, we settled into a new home, new school, and a new church. Friends came easily for all of us, and soon life seemed normal.

    Summer came, mom died, and suddenly life, I realized, will never be normal again.

    This anniversary brings a gamut of emotions. Sadness, for those months I missed out on while mom was well. Joy, for knowing I can do hard things and make it work. Fulfillment, for seeing my children flourish in a new environment, and trepidation, for not knowing what lies ahead, and seeing first hand that life can change drastically in an instant.

    I know that the years pass more and more quickly as time marches on, and each anniversary of this date will lessen the sadness and grief that came with it that first day. Thankfully, those aren't the only feelings I remember. I miss my old life, but I love my new life. And that makes a happy anniversary all around.

    Photobucket

    12 Response(s):

    grannybabs said...

    30 years ago last August we left Utah for California. It should have felt like "going home" but it didn't. And I wasn't a happy camper - I left a new house, my sister Alice and a host of friends and memories.

    But my children say, "thank heavens we moved" and other things have confirmed to me that is what the right thing to do.

    But it's still hard when you do it!

    Jill Johnson said...

    I used to mark the calendar for Aug 13 every year. Our anniversary for growing up. Every year it became less of an anniversary. This year it came and went and I didn't even thing about it. I guess after 5 years you forget you ever had anything else.

    Meg said...

    I still remember the days that you guys left! Mom and I were devastated, but we both knew it was the best thing. Now, I miss you more than ever, but have embarked on my own new adventure. Now I can understand that excitement of what is just around the bend.

    amy k said...

    It's amazing how you see yourself a year later and what hind sight can bring. I'm glad you're happy with your knew life.

    Jake never lets me live my "melt down" moment on the day we left Utah.

    Kalli Ko said...

    welcome to adulthood, it's been a banner year for you indeed.

    ClistyB said...

    you're a Reenoip.
    Backwards pioneer.

    Larissa said...

    I remember those feelings so clearly, when I left Utah for Iowa with my first child as a newborn baby. Embarking on a new life and two things I had never done before. Moved out of Utah and become a mother! I felt so extremely alone and scared and didn't know how I was going to make it. Having a difficult husband made things worse. I literally cried for...I don't know how long...and marked an X on the calendar counting the days until Christmas. For some reason, it was the right thing to do although hindsight makes me wonder?!? But, it was an experience I couldn't have had any other way and I met some lifelong friends along the way. Life is very interesting. Somehow I survived it all! It's truly a miracle. I'm so happy you love your new life. I think you could be happy in a cave in Honduras! And, you could probably sew it some dang nice curtains...

    nikkipicky said...

    Wow, you are brave. I don't think I could do it. Well I could, but I would probably bawl the entire drive and for a few days after.

    I didn't realize you had only been there a while when your mom got sick. That must have made it so much harder. You did good. Surviving..Finding the joy.. and now you have a great new life. :)

    Kirsten said...

    A year, really? It's hard to believe it's been that long! I hope you are enjoying your new home.

    Jessica said...

    Our six year anniversary will be here this spring. I will always remember climbing into the big yellow truck with everything we owned inside and my six week old baby between my husband and I. I remember I cried all the way up Parley's. Now we have gained two, lost two before we knew them, lost a grandma, then a grandpa, dodged a cancer scare with my mom, and faced a cancer reality with his dad. I found out today my grandpa may have had a stroke. And time marches on. Hopefully, I am more grown up for it! Thanks for the post. I will make a mental marker to post about my anniversary in May. Thanks for the idi-eer!

    Kelli said...

    I miss your old life too. I just realized that we may be the only ones to never grow up and move away. Thats ok, I never want to grow up.

    Kelli said...

    I miss your old life too. I just realized that we may be the only ones to never grow up and move away. Thats ok, I never want to grow up.